她们的故事

i'm struggling to write stories or any sort of narrative text, fiction or not. whether it's retelling something that has actually happened in my life or trying to bring an entirely new world and characters to life through text, i've become incredibly self-conscious about my writing. in middle school, i used to lovee creative fiction writing and as one of my friends was actually working on creating a book, i would spend hours adding my comments and changes to the story and discussing with her about plot, setting, continuity, detail, etc. since maybe high school however, it's all of a suddenn soo much harder to a point where sometimes, i just would rather fail an assignment.

this happened in a high school class on ancient literature and myths where we had to write a dialogue between 2 characters from two different myths where they would discuss a certain theme that was shared across their stories... and i literally just didn't write it. it was one part of a multi-part final and i was too 'cringed-out' because it felt like i was writing fanfiction. now mind you i still passed that exam easily #BigWin but that moment has stuck with me as a time i remember why i have a hard time writing fiction: i feel cringe. 

i think the characters arent good enough, my sentences don't flow, the words are too basic, theres not enough or too MUCH detail, etc. how can i have confidence in my writing if i cant even get a sentence down? how can i improve without starting at all? like girl if you don't just get over yourself and put some pen (keyboard) to paper (google docs) already and TRY... anyways. imma try to write something now. let's hope this goes ok